with your own penis?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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He told me they were just razor bumps!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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