Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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