...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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