i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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