Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize