I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Quick, to the slutcave!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
