He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
