So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize