HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
