I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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