Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
