What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
