what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
