just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
