the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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