yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
