but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
