I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
