I want to stick my p in your. b.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
we're so committed to being not committed
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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