thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
