He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
babies were throwing up all over the place
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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