Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
