just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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