i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
