was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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