are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
