Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
