What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
