he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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