I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
