We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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