you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
