I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
this boner is exhausting
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
