I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
