Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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