What a fucking waste of an outfit
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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