WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You dont lie about slip and slides
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
