new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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