And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
