is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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