I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
