but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
