Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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