I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
