Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize