Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Welp...herpes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize