I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize