I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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