dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
