its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
