you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize