We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
soo... how was my night?
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