He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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